have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
