So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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