I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
