Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she told me i tasted like america
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
