i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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