i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
