ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
