Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
