he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
