i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
birth control should be required to get into college
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
