didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Where did you get a picture of my penis
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
