I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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