My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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