Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
