i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
