I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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