D3 body, D1 cock
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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