What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
