I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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