she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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