I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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