I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
