Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
