Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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