3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
