Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
