Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
