Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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