Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is your mom at the bar?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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