This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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