It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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