Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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