Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
