Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think i have herpe
just one?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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