i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
