It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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