At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
