I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
