I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Pooping to opera.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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