do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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