Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The Olympian is in my bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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