We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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