I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
