Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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