It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
