"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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