I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
