Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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