i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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