Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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