so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
