Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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