if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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